Ahh.. when the sky knows how i felt... If you always pretend to be strong, you forget your true self and so
it’s important to sometimes put away your strength and rely on someone else
When you are hurting and want to cry, face the sky and scream
“I don’t want to forget myself
I want to be as I am”

Hmmm.. idk who's to rely anymore.. Family? Friends? Haha.. haha.. haha... Everyone are busy with their own life. Busy to achieve their little goals... While i'm busy on staying alive for tomorrow.. She said. "2,3 semester more left"... I was like... bitch if i live suffering that long doesnt that mean i'll live suffering again and live like what other's will do? Find a job,marriage,etc.. Then what? Do u expect me to be happy? I'm mentally sick. Then what? Send me to Mental hospital? People like us especially me. Dont have any 'way out'.. "We have God, let's survive this!" lol... Aren't i am alive now for God..? Without believing in God.. I'd have suicide long long time ago.. Even before my mother's death. U see.. This 'depression'.. That ignorant bullshits people keep saying 'seeking attention'.. Does that mean we should die? Just because we're a little different.. We do not belong in this world? Do u think u are belong in this world? Is that what u call humanity? The world and people are so corrupted. No wonder i want to die. Then again, while i'm struggling living for future... Do u have fun watching me become like this? This feeling now.. Cannot be disappear. They have created 'this feeling' deep inside my heart. Things that've happened cannot be erased.. i dont blame them. It's just that.. They've created a monster. So deal with it. I cannot be cured. I cannot be cured. I'll never be freed.. Oneday, i might do it for real... Soon... soon...