I feel as if i'm a freak weirdo when i'm trying to act 'normal'.. It's like i've lost my special abilities bcos of 'happy thoughts'.. It Ruined my life...💁 Bcos that 'happy' thingy... just not my style or my way of life... so... yeah... Pain... are my addiction~ Through pain.. They taught me lots of things. Most of it actually~ haha But to my darksoulmate~ i wont do stupid things (maybe?) Haha i'll try my best :v but sad thoughts,crying,emo,screams... i'll do like i used to do it... Maybe.. Change or 'move on' doesn't always mean good things... Yeah positive thinking will give me a better life~ but yeah~ i dont need.. bcos my life are ok now~ I need nothing, i have nothing.. That's enough for me.. If it's getting worse.. Isn't that mean i'll breaking myself and reborn? This feelings i don't know if everyone can understand.. but yeah... lol i'm mumbling again~~ Well... i do feel lost when i don't feel pain.. So uncomfortable to live without pain... lol :v