I dont know which one msg is my last goodbye.

From now on, i wont be scared.

I wont be scared to God.

I'll kill myself. I'm aware of that now.

This world are the one who's keep pressuring me to heal n find 'happiness'.

In the 1st place i was fine. Even if i'm depressed. I was fine. I mean it. Not the fake fine. But bcos people starting to care n think i should get fixed, find solution n get help. Haha.

That's what putting me under this extreme pressure.

I see. I was fine.. Till now. I was happy despite depression n self hatred. But people find it's wrong n not normal.

Well, i'm going to kill myself then.

At least the reason is not bcos i wanna die bcos of my mental illness problem, my family nor myself. But bcos of people who care bout me but leads me into the 'right path' but wrong way for me. Those people are not included, my sis n yana. Others are. Especially my psychiatric doctor n therapy doctor. All those doctors who judged me since my 1st time went to HKL for suture my wrist cut. Every one of them. I see. 

There is nothing wrong with me.

As long as there's God, family n friends, despite all the hardship n attempts. I was fine. I can handle such pressure. That's why I'm still alive until now. 

But now, I'll never be fine anymore.

Goodbye.