MEJIBRAY - CRISTATE

Cristate

殺し方を知らないのなら潜り方を考えて

君の中には生きてる限り音楽が流れ続ける毎日
同じ音は無いそれを君の世界にして声にするのを生きる意味にすればいい

そこで生きればいい
外ではただ演じていればいい
君の分まで

君の事を僕が毎日を生きる意味にして居るように
君の世界を想像するのが楽しくてまだここに居てもいいかと思うように
毎日生きていろとは強制していない
でもそこに居るのは何故？

本当は解ってるはず
だって君はそこで歌う事を辞めない

君が僕へ教えた事
“生きているから僕がいる”
と

so close… yet so far
赤い靴でも
泣いて、揺れて、綴化してゆく
生きて魅せるこの世界なら
“僕が君で、君が僕という事を”

***

koroshikata wo shiranai no nara mogurikata wo kangaete

kimi no naka ni wa ikiteru kagiri ongaku ga nagaretsuzukeru mainichi
onaji oto wa nai sore wo kimi no sekai ni shite koe ni suru no wo ikiru imi ni sureba ii

soko de ikireba ii
soto de wa tada enjite ireba ii
kimi no bun made

kimi no koto wo boku ga mainichi wo ikiru imi ni shite iru you ni
kimi no sekai wo souzou suru no ga tanoshikute mada koko ni ite mo ii ka to omou you ni
mainichi ikiteiro to wa kyousei shite inai
demo soko ni iru no wa naze?

hontou wa wakatteru hazu
datte kimi wa soko de utau koto wo yamenai

kimi ga boku e oshieta koto
“ikite iru kara boku ga iru”
to

so close… yet so far
akai kutsu de mo
naite, yurete, tekka shite yuku
ikite miseru kono sekai nara
“boku ga kimi de, kimi ga boku to iu koto wo”
　
　

Cristate

If you don’t know how to kill, then think about ways to hide

As long as I’m alive inside you, the music will continue to play every day
The sound might not be the same but making it your world and voicing it should be your reason to live

It’s okay to live in there
It’s okay to just pretend on the outside
I’ll do your part too

I hope I can stay here and make you my reason to live every day
Imagining your world is fun and I hope I can start feeling like I want to stay here a bit longer
I’m not forcing you to live every day
But why are you over there?

I think I understand, actually
It’s because you won’t stop singing there

You had told me
That,
“I’m here because you’re alive”

so close… yet so far
Even with the red shoes
Crying, trembling, I am turning cristate
Since this is the world we choose to live in,
“We’ll make it so that I am you, and you are me”
　
　

_________
Explanation of the term cristate: it’s one of the adjectives to describe a plant affected by fasciation, a type of plant abnormality. (It can be used to describe other things but in this case we’re talking about fasciation only.) Fasciation in Japanese can be written in three ways, one of which is 綴化 (which he used in the song), and cristate would then be 綴化状 (which is more literally “the state of being fasciated”).
You can see that both of these include Tsuzuku’s kanji 綴. And the kanji 化 is the usual way to denote the process of something turning into something. In many cases, it’s the suffix for -ification. In this way he’s making a pun on his name, making 綴化 mean “becoming Tsuzuku,” and cristate/綴化状 would then be “the state of being Tsuzuku.”
Since the song itself is called Cristate, I put the “綴化してゆく” part as “turning cristate” in the translation, too.

(P.S. If it’s not clear, this song is a kind of internal monologue, from himself to himself. But like a lot of songs on this album, I think it’s deliberately written vaguely enough to be taken otherwise, or as written to someone else.)

source : HERESIARCHY