Tsuzuku’s blog 2013-03-13

White to my brush, to hide the red.

In such a single room
that’s turned bright red,
the red is really powerful
and my own colours are helpless.

It would be easier if it was all plastered in black.

But
now I want the white.

I added white ink to my brush,
and painted over many many times

What was there were flowers of rain

What was there were dreams of mud

In that room, my screams, reaching no one,
simply got absorbed into the walls.

My words formed in there, reaching no one,
simply reverberated off the walls.

I shut these feelings away into a black chusion,

and through my ears into my brain floats a vision of that person with dishevelled red hair, singing.

What I remember are
two hours repeated every day locked up in an iron box.

On some days alone,
on some days with someone else,
on some days with two people,
on some days with three
and
yet again alone.

The orange colour on the day I descend the hill,
already fading, looks like sepia.

Just being able to remember such a thing
makes me happy
and I might even be having fun as I mull over this state.

However much it’s painful,
however much lonely,
I’ll continue living as myself.

Even the light corrupting me from this PC monitor now
is no different than looking at a tip of a pen.

Ink staining a fountain pen
and soft skin pierced with that

The purplish red feelings coming through my throat
are of me wanting to consider my present
as important from now on too
I think I’m expressing that current self.

Though black wings will soar through these heavens,
without any regard, the wind disperses everything.

In due time, the rain will lift,
the sun will come out,
and it will be warming the asphalt.

In due time, I’ll cut my fringe,
my eyes will appear,
and they’ll be wetting the asphalt.

Now, holding a towel in my right hand,
I must wipe off the useless colour.

Using an eraser,
I have to reduce the useless margins.

Living is wonderful.

Living is bothersome.

But

Because I’m alive,

I’m happy.

Because I’m alive,

I have to live.

Since I’m alive, I’ll live on.

Since I’m alive, I think I want to stay alive.

Tsuzuku

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….don’t ask, Tsuzuku has his own train of thought that can rarely be followed. He posted this blog after that tweet that he wants to let out all his current feelings.

Source : HERESIARCHY