To my fucking big sister~

x kira ak g mne.. slagi ko ad.. slagi tu aku x rse bebas... ye bg ko 'tangungjawab' bg aku 'penjara'... ap yg ko da wat kt aku smpai rse hatred sngt kt ko... benda tu da berlaku..  n selama lamanya aku akan rse beban tu..
Benda tu da berlaku n aku xle nk angap hidup ni mcm biasa.. Aku x kuat pon. Aku acah2 kuat.. klo bole nk mati terus. Aku fikir Allah je. Aku x fikir ko. Aku xkan fikir ko or family..  aku x fikir ummi or diri aku... Aku fikir allah. Tu je.. Benda yg da terjadi n wat hati aku cmni.. xle diubah cmtu je.. Da berlaku..  So ap yg da tercipta dlm hati ni smpai jd hitam mmg xle nk ubah... Even ko mati or family ni mati.. aku x rse pape pon. Hidup still sme.. Aku prefer aku mati ah.. Sbb ak mmg dr dulu x nmpk pon masa dpn aku... Aku nmpk tp.. Hidup membuta tnpa tau ap tu 'happiness' yg korg dok suka n cari tu.... sbb 'happiness' korg lain ngan aku.. 'happiness' aku lain... 'happiness' aku bertentangan ngan korg... aku xle.. aku x jumpa jalan untuk hidup esok... so... bye

My granma just passed away~ aside that...

3 cuts..... DIDNT I SAID I DONT FUCKING WANNA GO HOMEEE!!! FUCK OPAH'S FUNERAL! ALL PEOPLE CARE IS THEIR OWN GOOD... WHY I CANNOT BEING SELFISH TOOOOO? IS IT FUN TO FUCKING TORTURING ME? WITHOUT ANY REALIZATION? IS IT FUNNN? TO MAKE ME CRY EVERYDAY? IS IT FUNNNN MAKING ME TURN INTO A FUCKING MENTAL BPD? WITHOUT KNOWING THE REASON WHY I WANNA DIE? HAHAHHAHA It's not FUCKING bcos of my mother's death.... It's bcos of my FUCKING family that could not MOVE ON after her death! Then breaking this family.. Blame each other.. And escape by finding a true love n make a new 'happy' family??? SUCH A CHILDISH IMMATURE INSOLENT BASTARD! FUCK U ALL😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Thank you soooooo much for being FUCKING choosing ur own HAPPINESS that makes me become like this~ HAHAHAHAHHAHAA It's funnn to live suffering like this~~ I'll blame u all n my late mom... bcos... of u all...!! i know it's not her fault to die.. but i blame u all for ruining this family more after her death... SO if i die... Please suffer as much as u can~ my soul will always holding this grudge... haha RIP ME?