遺書 ( The Will)

Suicide note

Misfortune of the highest grade, the death game

A puny life gauge with no hope to recover

Why did God hurt the life of the innocents

Can you tell me the reason, or was it a fate?

The sun has set, igniting fireworks waiting for insanity on the night

without knowing that the embers would vanish in blood

On that day, my memories and tears..

I prayed for God to kill me

living, dying or even going to hell - anything is fine

Cruelty loving irresponsible

At least give me an ease feelings to live as an empty shells

With the way things are now,

I hold my breath to fall asleep

At the end of the year

There's nothing more left

Even pain can't stop me from hurting myself

A hope of death is fulfilling me in a certain way

Even if I look at the sky

There's nothing

I don't want to hurt you more than this

Don't wake me up

Leave me be

I'm sorry

Forgive me

Q & A

Since i'm bored, i'll find random Q & A myself..😂

What should they teach in school, but don’t?

- Sex pregnant prevent education? These days people jusy do sex.. so yeah.. just prevent.. Or maybe teach something useful for future, work lifestyle.. some teach arent even related n futile.. boring..

Btw i hate school

Is it okay to sacrifice one life to save ten?

-Ah, i'm sorry. I'm the kind of person who would sacrifice 1 for greater purpose. Also I'd rather sacrifice myself so there wont be any issues lolz

How useful would you be in a zombie apocalypse?

-Despite wanting to die. I'd actually prefer to survive until i really die.. cuz i'm curious lolz. Also i'm actually survival person and hardcore type. I'd be swing a bat to blow off the head.. but logically i'm weak physically.. so guns is nice too lolz.. 

What are two things you know you should how to do but don’t?

-I should be independent but i choose to be codependent.. haha.. manipulating is inevitable though i can survive the world.. also maybe i cant survive the world since i wanna die, why even bother to survive.. 

-2ndly, I should study more and gain more knowledge that i'm not interested to just balance my wisdom but i'm bad at it. I'm only interested in human studies.

What is something you’ve done that you wish you could undo?

-I wish i could go back to time when before we were born, existed n asking God to create us as a human. I'd rather not be existed or be any significant to God.. 

What do most people think about you that is absolutely not true?

-Ah~ so many things. Since i'm a born manipulator. I had manipulate my surrounding so much. Everything I act is based on the image i wanted to create in front of them. And depression is just an obscure of hiding my real self. But my real self is not that extreme valueable mystery.. i'm just nothing.. No demons, something big nor monster behind this vague self identity.. Just something small an undentify real self. Better to not exist is the best thing. 

Simply saying. I may seems hate this world n wanna die, deep thinker, deep person, etc. It's false. I'm just not showing my real self. I'm just showing that i'm capable in someway to just manipulate. That's all.

What is something that can’t be taught and can only be learned with age?

Perspective. A perspectivehen that can created an ideal when u're adolescent, child, teenagers, young adult, adult, old adult, old man which can taught u to processing and select which one is ur voices, ur opinions... 

If you could live your life again knowing what you do now, what would you change?

Instead of drowning in pool at 5y.o or cutting wrist at 18y.o.. I'd rather just jump from building when I was 5. When I grew old. This thoughts is balance and my sanity is sane that everything i want to do is distorted with logical and consequences. I'd rather die when young.. not at this difficult age of life..

If you could be born again and choose what nationality, gender, and race to be, what would you choose?

-I wanna be a mix Malaysian n Japanese pls.. mixed blood with a murderer's bloods is interesting.. lolz. 

How much do you judge a person by their appearance?

-Appearance is important but not that important to me. Cuz i have the ability to understand through looks, so through appearance I can see what kind that person is attitude, facial, movements, fashion, their skins, nails, voices, their mind decision,etc but human is still complicated specimens so.. maybe some general opinion. But most important is that appearance 'kind' or 'bad but acceptable' or just 'bad'... 

So yeah i judge appearance. 

But the problem is if i already study that person n know their soul's color n fine with it. No matter how dirty or ugly or beauty but arrogant bitchy u are, i'm fine with it if our chemistry is nice. Girl or boy.. 

What belief do you have that most people disagree with?

-No offence but. I believe there'd be something more after hell n heaven. Maybe reincarnation or not(i dont care which one) but i believe if God wanna something more n He will create something more... if not, then GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE... But yeah we dont know that.. 🤷‍♀️ in then it all depends on God.. i just hope there's nothing moreee ugh... 

Who or what inspires you to be a better person?

-Broken souls are the most valuable lessons to learn. Of course some love to balance.

What makes a person truly evil? Are they born that way or did their environment make them that way?

-Both. U, urselves choose which one to be. 

If science makes it possible to predict which people will be more likely to commit crimes, should the highest risk individuals be jailed or killed before they can commit crimes?

-Kill. As long as they live their 'ideal' thoughts it will last forever in their head. 

If u wanna talk about humanity then just fucking ignore n let the world functioning normally. 

Why are there so many people who are lonely? Why is it so hard for people to make real connections when almost everyone wants to make real connections?

-Is it a sin to be alone n feel lonely?

Affection is necessary but with boundary. 

Logically speaking, it's cuz they're just shy to connected or clueless. Or dont know where to start n go where to maintain the relationship. It depend on the individuals, whether to be friendly or just wait for someone to come into their life... yeah wait until u rot... every connections need mutual efforts, communication and a chemistry.. that's all i can say.. the most basic to start connections. We're not alone, we choose to be alone n hurting ourselves. It's also fine to not have deep connections. Just slow step is fine too. Everything is fine. More to learn n improve. To be a better person.

What are the most common road blocks that stop people from achieving their dreams?

-REALITY my dudes.... 💁💁💁

Also effort is necessary, never give up n keep grow,knowledge, support and a damn luck..

 

Last question...

What keeps you up at night?

-Urgh.... give me an easy question....

-Insomnia~

-Also maybe bcos i dont wanna live, why not sleep for 2 days n then i can sleep for 2 days straight n time will passed by quickly~~

-Unstable sleeps, fatigue,etc also bad for health. What a nice way to die quickly n quietly~ no one would notice.

ISHTAR

I cannot get it out of my head
I cannot get it out of my head

An uresolvable dilemma
as the outline of the moon is waning
I stubbornly refuse the decision,
resisting in an unsightly manner
Ishtar charms and utilizes her slave
drowning in carnal desired as the twilight is sinking in
crawling on the ground I looked up at the sky
there’s no reaching an end of the piercing drops of sin

She whispered I know you love me you belong to me
She whispered I know you love me you belong to me
She whispered I know you love me you belong to me
She whispered I know you love I know
The time is out of joint

the moonlight is saturated with sorrow
it illuminates as if it’s insulting me
I surrender myself to the piled up end of pleasure
with a miserable melody occasionally reverberating
day after day I reminisce, remembrance of things past

cutting the red tube, a femoral wound
Thou shalt not kill
the meaning of living, the obstructed breathing
fake pessimist,
Shut out freak out
a drawn blade was slashed by a blade of words
while being in constant shame
Be contrite about

Whatever may happen it is no concern of mine
The time is out of joint

What is the meaning of my existence
I want to die
What is the meaning of my existence
I want to disappear
Don't make me confused
Stop stop teasing me

re: it’s an uncertain answer
liar, you’re full of deception
the reckless behaviour of sad feelings
sending one jonquil
re: it’s an uncertain answer
liar, you’re full of deception
the reckless behaviour of sad feelings

Time without end
Time without end

What is done cannot be undone
To be or not to be that is question

Remember the days
Everytime fake smile
Everytime fake love
Remember the days
Everytime fake smile
Everytime fake love
Bleary eyes yearn

I cannot get it out of my head
I cannot get it out of my head

Ishtar charms and utilizes her slave
drowning in carnal desired as the twilight is sinking in
crawling on the ground I looked up at the sky
there’s no reaching an end of the piercing drops of sin

deeply, deeply, deeply sinking
never again rising to the surface
reflecting in the vacant eyes
is a brittle, weak thread tied down by mending
continuing to fulfill within the constructed scenery

holding my breath, I just stood still
as the impurity that started overflowing dyed the transparent water tank a colour of deep crimson
I was drawn to the fascinating aroma inviting me in
from the divine messenger that swam in an enticing manner

Everything comes at a price.
By offering this sacrifice I'll continue to live on without ever rotting.
I'll keep waiting for the day you finally come to me.

respecting the pure-bred animal
I yearn to be the same
without it being understood, it’s「a sincere love」
my frustration intensifies, without me making mistakes

when the flower buds open up again
the everlasting oath is concluded
and with hideous yet beautiful eyes, vacantly
I’ll nip off the pure white flower buds with a self-righteous caress

dizzy, in an illusion of repose
my freedom is tamed and I’m unable to change

Hideous yet beautiful
fresh blood drips in the scared night
as my corrupted soul merely wanders about
God's not with me.

"You decided I'm a freak based solely on a moral standpoint
But even if you hurt me, if the world rejects, loathes or mocks me, no matter how much you torment me, I know I did no wrong."

The future in which the cooled off feelings distort the reality is
WILD WITH GRIEF
Digging up the scar that I had started forgetting
Yeah, it’s just a life of repetition
before long it will make me insane
even your smile that I loved
will leave behind scars that won’t disappear

If I crush these eyes
Will I have a destiny in which my tears don’t flow?
Those wonderful days are defiled by these blurry tears
With this reverberating poem

[co-extinction] I repeat it without growing tired of it [abolition]
pressing my lips together [declination] misleading the loneliness [co-extinction]
repeating the outcome [abolition] at the end of despair… [declination]

『well anyway, it’s a world that was born in tears 』

I don’t need kindness
or even this poem that you loved
Should I not have come across
this scar that can’t be healed?
under this sky, we…
Ah -

If both my arm were cut off
I wouldn’t even ask for the warmth of someone else
I named the remainder of the wound from a beautiful mistake after you

If I lost this voice of mine
I wouldn’t have these scars singing of love
don’t cry for these beautiful days

Please keep going without killing me,
I want to live within you

十五

it’s the misfortune of the highest grade, the death game

in which a small and weak life gauge can’t be recovered

can you tell me the reason for why

God robbed that child of their life, or is that what they call fate?

the sun has set, we ignite fireworks waiting for insanity in the summer night

without knowing that the embers would vanish in blood, you… on that day, my memories and tears…

I prayed to God; kill me instead of her

living, dying or even going to hell - anything is fine

can you teach me what the value is in praying to God?

an irresponsible God that loves us with cruelty

at least, will that child give the world a feeling of being at ease?

if you are there, answer me, right now

Irritating rain

Why, why,
there’s no point in stopping here
why, why,
facing forwards I’m walking backwards

the rain that started is in a vague state
quietly coming down into the town
with such weakness that I
don’t know whether I’ll get wet or not

if it’s going to rain
it should just rain more
because this is frustrating
I don’t say anything,
but I really want to say that
I hate it, I hate it,
just shut up

I’m living, it’s just that
occasionally I’m making a face that makes me look like I’m dead
in my chest is always
this gloomy feeling that won’t clear up

the rain that started is
in a vague state
slowly soaking into my body
just half-way
the temperature made me feel uncomfortable

if it’s sad
my tears don’t flow
if it’s fun
I don’t laugh anymore
what I really wanted to become, this isn’t it
I did nothing but run away… where is this place?

if it’s going to rain
it should just rain more
because this is frustrating
I don’t say anything,
but I really want to say that
I hate it, I hate it,
just shut up

in this town, where the rain drizzles,
in this town, where I live,
what should I do tomorrow?
if it rained more,
if I cried strongly,
even if I’m hurt, even if I’m hurt
would it be fine?

Pomegranate

My voice screamed out your name

Even if it surely won't reach you my voice

But even so, I'm fine now

One day in my heart you will be...

I'll dream tonight too, dreams of you

Because of your letter that I put under my pillow

My dreams are too cruel, my breath hitches

As always, I wake in pain around 4 in the morning

Time is too long

Time is too painful

The dreams don't stop

My love is frozen, dead

On cold nights

like in this long night

My consciousness is torn apart

becoming small pieces

my memories scattering

I grasp your ring so tightly that

my tears soaking the pillow

Like I can't hear, I blocked my ears

to your voice

One more scar

added to my wrist

Melting into the wound you

I am broken the letter burnt reduced to ashes

I am broken my heart broken reduced to ashes

I am broken I lost you I love you.

Can I?

Drinking a tomato juice while walking

Accidentally spilled this damn juice

Oh, I saw a bright red color

Blood rushing in

Hey, can I 

Can I

Can I

Wrist cut now?

Hey, can I 

Can I

Can I

Wrist cut now?

I've been a good girl for long

I wanna be a bad girl now

In this corrupted world and soul

What do we seek of

Lost in crowded streets 

What is our purpose

Hey, can I 

Can I

Can I

Wrist cut now?

Hey, can I 

Can I

Can I

Wrist cut now?

No thank you, no thank you

Someday I will cut my wrist beautifully

DIE

DIE

DIE

Roar

Am I getting closer to the ideals within a tomorrow I am not aware of?

I pretended I am not aware of common sense

The screams of yesterday can be heard

A single drop fell inside the small world

Still, the meaning won’t become clear

Even so, I paint the true feeling in lukewarm crimson

Yeah, I do…

On the chest of beloved you I announce the farewell 「words」

Shutting towards I am feeling the gentle wind

Changing into the color of you

The screams of yesterday can be heard

A single drop fell inside the small world

Still, the meaning won’t become clear

Even so, I draw the true feeling in lukewarm crimson

Yeah, I do…

The feelings concealed in the innermost depths of my heart

Throb with a gentle smile

Beginning with Disdain

This is the only way for me to live

Because I'm worthless

I don't feel any pity

You're the ones feeling that

It's not for you

Laugh and then despise

Having it forced down endlessly

Always the same words

Tired of living

Desperately

That's persecution

That's persecution

It's not for you

Laugh and then despise

To the winners who found themselves

Laugh and then despise

I should just die

Now celebrate the scar

I should just die

This is the only way for me to live

Because I'm worthless

That's persecution

That's persecution

Which side are you on?

Why hesitate? Dear me

Parasite of absurdity

Paradise of terror, dive of death

Parasite of absurdity

I want it more than anything

I want it more than anything

I want it more than anything

I want to be worth it

I should just die

Now celebrate the scar

I should just die

I should just die

Now celebrate the scar

I should just die

Chaos mode

With Love Comes Decay

The dance holds together this little girl
As she waits for the morning, the best friend
She has no one to wave to anymore
The good old days are so dear
The ashes are like flower petals
That rise up to the sky
Say good bye as we torch
The fire to the victims stacked up
The ashes are like flower petals
That rise up to the sky
Lets put on a dress and dance
I gave her my endless love
But she cries aloud
So I now take off the dress and go to sleep
The endless love, the little girl with happiness
On her sleeping face is gone
The decomposed dress
And the leg of the little girl, I carry

Last snow

The road we walked back then is gone

but I still walk along it anyway.

The snow quietly falls on the gentle slope,
now I put your favorite flower in your room
even though I know it will never reach you.

when I remembered our unyielding promise
from last year's last day of snow, it began to melt,
and spill from my hands.

The snow quietly falls on the gentle slope,
now I put your favorite flower in your room
even though I know it will never reach you.

As I remember you watching the snow from the window all alone,
I recall you through the window
And give you one last kiss...

please, smile, stop your crying now...
I'm always watching you from here.

The snow quietly falls on the gentle slope,
now I put your favorite flower in your room
even though I know it will never reach you.

All over the city quietly colored white by the light,
the last seasonal color you saw.
you shed tears, reality is cruel isn't it?
the last seasonal color you saw.

The colors of you have finally disappeared with the four seasons
the snow melts and flowers bloom on the street.
the "shades" you saw are melting.

the last day of snow this year

(one flower in the street, when I looked up to the sky,
the final snow was pouring from the palm of my hands)

UPDATED LIFE

Credit to avogado_6. I just edit a lil bit of my specific scars, lightning and my hair color.. 

Ahh hahaha idk.. words aren't enough to convey what i feel now but everyone can find it related even for a bit. I'm tired of convincing everyone who i love to just understand me. They just wont understand. Countless wasteful years and pain to make them open minded. Until now, if only they could understand my deepest pain. It would be enough. If only people could feel the pain of wanting to die without depression excuse or a proper reasons... I'd feel better.. 

A life simply dont want to live anymore. 

Is the words i can tell in simplest way for anyone out there who even care about me... (i know there no one much reading this stupid blog)

Again I said " I want to die" as a jokes.. 

I'm just messing around~ 

And even the sadness drained me

I will always try my best

It's fine like this

To just live

It's fine even if I throw this life away

It's fine for me

Cloudy world

I'm so sick cloudy world

Keep on smiling. Happy end.

I'm an idiot for believing in that words

If the happiness is full of fake then I'm going to hang myself

You said "eternity"

Is this eternity this short?

The 'promise' you made,

Were only to make for the sake of breaking them?

Then I wish for you to misfortune

Bye bye bye

Because she can't live well tomorrow, she walks endlessly

We, who living to be unmanageable

Until this dawn breaks

LA LA LA LA LA LA

We, who don't know what happiness is are sick, sick, sick

As I scattered food for stray cats 

An elderly couple reached out their hands pleading for me to give them some of the bread

Even if I give them my whole money, nothing seems to change 

Seems like it's too late to help

You're shot in this country without the sound of a gun 

And the hole in your heart is hard to mend

All the pain that we, who find living to be unmanageable

Feelings is an insidious thing

Here we go again, life is slipping away

LA LA LA LA LA LA

We, who don't know what happiness is are sick, sick, sick and insane

sing a song for the world 

sing a song for my life

Sing a song for the world

Sing a song for my life..

A breathable carcass

The sun that can't be intersected is left behind

I realized that child won't be illuminated by everyone, until the point that he burns out

It's like I'm similar to the corpse

What I saw on that day which was able to breathes

This abandoned life, and even the sound of my heartbeat, 

Disappear in the sound of the footsteps

With this abandoned life, tainted by a colour of the madness red

My real intention has torn out

Tracing a line of justice and a lifeline on parallel lines

FAILED FAILED FAILED

I just wanna live FAILED FAILED FAILED

With this abandoned life, my truth was torn apart

Even if it's suffocating and unsightly,

Was it a crime to simply just want to live 

If it's a crime, then it's fine to kill me by hanging

Will you, will you, will you judge me?

Living in the same life style everyday

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

-Albert Einstein

I did same thing everyday. And I did grew and gain experience. Become stronger n rational. But i'm still a human. I cannot stay calm forever when there's a fucking volcano's fire burning me. 🤷‍♀️

I'm still learning ; to love myself, to care bout human, to care bout god, to breath, to understand, to gain wisdom, etc

It's my left hand which I can't put into character

Whenever I shed blood

The reason I'm alive

In my hand even those I should love

Scattered brilliantly

Even if I engrave the meaning of living in my left hand 

I know it's as empty flower 

The final

Suicide is the proof of living

Continuing to increase one by one

Why do I turn into fodder that's unable to smile?

To this heart that is like a profound prison 

I can never return

Self torturing loser that can't experience the future

So I can't live

What is lost

Wont be born again

So I can't live

Even the proof of being alive

Cannot be sought by this song

The flower bud of failed attempts

make it bloom

Killing my voice in the dead of night

I pray silently, all on my own

Even if I continue to seek meaning

I drown, unable to do anything

Embracing solitude, I cry without reason

But past the night I can see a starry sky

This dazzling rain moistens my heart

And speaks to me gently

In my dream a sweet voice resounded

It woke me up with a mere single word

Ah...

 

I held tight a faint shadow

Within the void I found inside of me

the patter forms out shapeless guilt

Your sweet lips

Ah...

My disgusting lies

 

In the dirty rain a scream can't be heard

Because I'm on the edge of losing myself

 

Forever alone

 

I cannot recognize the figure reflexted in those eyes

It's been so long since I felt anything

My demons whisper into my veins

Feeling your pure white body

Ah...

I shout from within my chest

 

I embrace that figure

Wrapped up in dirty rain

And I want to destroy myself

 

Take me away

 

I want to forget

The words from that time

Embracing solitude, now

I will stay with my eyes shut

The withered tree sings

a song dyed in malice

Ah, reflected in the river

is the rain-soaked shadow of the stars

Within this broken world

what can save us now?

 

The end is near

The only chance you've got

is left untaken

Your time is up

and the essence of your soul

is dissolving

Can't you see?

This reign conquers all life

We're all under control

 

Projected on the glass wall,

those figures start to change

As if the world was a withered lotus

the pretty white flowers broken by black rain

soon become garbage, and fade

 

People can't trust people

The shape of truth warps

You say the shadow of your heart is lost

The world, hidden

??? your hand

The people who've fallen deep, deep into the dark live on

 

Projected on the glass wall,

we won't forget the visions

As if we were all withered lotuses

we look to the red sky

Even if we're soaked by star-rain

we just need courage

We are ???

This is Kina's story. 2019.

Runaway from reality

I hid in a dream

If only dream last forever

And live in a world of fantasy

Where I can attempted suicide without care about death or any consequences

And I can slit my throat many times

Until I got bore or attempts many aesthetic death

How beautiful it is

To have no boundary

To have no God

And just live like a god

Oh my, it's just a dream

A sinful dream

I'm aware of the madness in my head

Yet I wanna remind, someone's are madder than me

The ideal of this ominous thoughts got created through my life's experience

Yet all people want is to blame me and my mind

It hurts so much that I don't care

I wanna be what I want

To be selfish

To not be in a society cycle

To not be a God's puppet

To not be a robot and just be a sinful human yet with manners 

I still hate hindering problems

That's why my sanity is still sane

Despite pain and self sabotage

Here I am dancing around gracefully

Just to waiting for God to end my breath

I have no grudge

Even if I have, that's how the world and human's function is

Without it being existed

I would not have any bad feelings toward everyone and everything

God makes me to feel like that

That's the point of being human

But when I stop being anything

I don't keep any hate

Even though I act as if I hate the world and everyone nor God.

It's all because I'm a human being created to be like that. To feel like that.

When I'm back to reality,

I feel lost

Much more lost than mentally depressed

Life cycle is so stressful that I thought 

why not be ill physically and disfunction physically forever?

Just so I won't be part of the society

I am having a severe disease

But asking help doesn't resonate any hope

Never have been.

That's why all I need to do is hide and live to the fullest 

Yet it aren't as simple as it used to be

Just like I said, the reality stopped me

From dancing

To the point I started to walk with my head drop

Without any care or feel any sort of life in this heart

I stop walking

And that what I was said

I feel lost

Where do I go?

Why do I need to walk?

Can I just cut my feet?

Just so I won't get pressure by it?

And that is my reality for now

I tried to walk again slowly

Step by step, again and again

Life just aren't work for me anymore

And I decide to be like that

I close my mind

I close my heart

I learn and close the opportunity to improve

Because despite all of that

I feel nothing good nor better

It just nothing

It's just got filled by pain more and rapidly than it should be

That's why I should close it

Stop this

Remove toxic

Huging myself only

Appreciate myself worth

And dance gracefully

That's why,

A sweet dreams is better

If oneday my brain finally accept to be in a deep sleep

I don't need any sympathy

And please just let me die

Sleep forever

Awake torture me more than dreams

My dream is to dream 

Closing my eye

With an open heart

I feel peaceful

The purpose that I seek

Just like my name

"Peace"

And I feel peaceful to end my life through dreams

Death is my favorite words

That's why I will appreciate death more than usual

Death is part of me

Death is fearful yet enthusiastic feelings

When I nearly faced death when I was a kid

I started to understand more and death taught me a lot of lessons

The struggles and experiences is an absolute lessons to learn

It taught you the next step of surviving in life or it will taught you to give up and accept death

Both are the perfect combination of wisdom

And I feel blessed

Till the point I realized that a great ability have a great responsibility

I was shocked when I was faced the first time responsibility

It created who I am now

How my mind works

It manipulated my brain and my ideals

There's no turning back

That's why let's just end this life

But God won't let it

He can gasp my life anytime

I feel so afraid of death to the point that I should have fucking die

God won't let me die yet

And He knows more the fact and reason why I will not obeyed Him in a certain aspects

Don't forget I'm still a human

I break His laws sometimes too and repeat it

I'm aware and so does He

He also knows I'm still trying my best more than you fucking judgemental do

So fuck off nicely, I ask

Those whose toxic, 

I'll fucking cut you pieces to pieces 

Even if you did nothing, then you are also nothing to me

I'll be fucking in charge of my fucking life

I live for the purpose to die

If you disagree then fuck off

Or I'll be the one fucking off

Stupid sympathy supporters is no needed

The worst kind of trash ever

Fuck off or I will make you feel the dark droplets of fucking deep depression where there's no recovery

And that is when I started to dance hysterically and laughed

Hahaha

Is what my life is now

I dance followed the flows

And create my own flows sometimes

I dance in a black rain

And I feel rebound my fate again

I dance in the depth despair

And I feel whole to the point it feels tickles as fuck

Haha~~

This is where I said

Welcome to world of Kina, the goddess of madness

This is Kina's story. 2019.

ZERO "0"

It would be good to not have been born

To not even have been given a name

What is this place?

There was nothing, there was nothing

not in good or evil, not even in happiness

there was nothing, there was nothing

In this meaningless fate

Does anyone have it?

Hope, a thin lifeline

It's tied around freedom, entangled

Just to tightening around the neck

How much for that ideal?

Who can tell me?

Either way I sell the reality and buy the dream

It's so sad, so painful

There can't even be any hope

There's no salvation in a life with nothing at all

That's worth waiting for

Zero

Zero

Zero

Zero

The correctness required of you

Even the name adapted to you

It's all just living after someone else's aspiration for you

Is someone keeping you as a pet?

Remove the gag from your mouth, it's fine

Even your real intention of looking for a taboo

Throw all of it in the ditch

How much? for a trash like warmth and kindness?

either way I just get hurts but in the end the pain will be over (if i die)

It's so sad, so painful

There can't even be any hope to fill

No matter what life is returned to the earth with no rewards

People are born alone

And die alone without any answers

We shouldn't have been born alone or die alone

either way there's no rules in a life with nothing at all

That's worth waiting for

Zero

Zero

Zero

Zero